Killing Your Old Self
A conversation on emotional death, identity burial, and becoming who you were meant to be.
Real transformation is not gentle. It is not a routine or a phase. It is a burial. There comes a moment when progress is not enough. Growth is not enough. Improvement is not enough. If you want to become who you are meant to be, you do not just evolve. You eliminate. You kill the version of yourself that was built to survive, so you can build the version that was meant to win.
Jas Mathur does not describe it as reinvention. He calls it emotional death, the intentional execution of the identity shaped by insecurity, validation seeking, and proving yourself to people who never truly saw you.
“Who I have been is finally dead. I broke that person down emotionally. It was very, very, very hard.”
Most people want transformation without sacrifice. They want confidence without discomfort, new chapters without closing the old ones, evolution without honesty. But growth without death is just movement. It does not change who holds the power inside you.
This process required Jas to confront the parts of himself built for approval. The version that overgave, overexplained, and expected loyalty from people who were never wired to give it back. He had to let that version go. Not slowly, but completely.
“I faced a lot of insecurities, I faced a lot of emotional issues, I faced a lot of anger, constantly doing for others in hopes they would be the same.”
Burial brings clarity. It builds boundaries. It sharpens access. The new version cannot afford to be available to everyone. He learned that selective softness is strength, and that loyalty without discernment is self harm.
“With a few people that are real in my life, I do not have that guard.”
The world may call that harsh. It is not cruelty. It is sovereignty.
Confidence came from collapse and rebuild. The moment he stopped chasing validation was the moment he stopped fearing judgment. And when judgment lost its power, so did failure.
“There is no such thing as failure. If you do not try, the answer will always be no.”
What once felt like risk now feels like responsibility. What once felt like fear now feels like clarity. What once was reactive now becomes intentional. There is no return after that.
You stop living for applause and start living in alignment. You stop performing and start becoming. You stop holding on to people, habits, and beliefs that belonged to an outdated version of you. Eventually, you look back and realize the old you was necessary, but not qualified to lead your future.
When you stop being who they expect you to be, you become who you are. And once you reach that version, there is nothing behind you worth returning to. There is only forward.
